Surgery and Surprises!
Surgery day was an absolute crazy, wonderful, peaceful day! First of all, I want to thank all my doctors and nurses! They made my stay absolutely wonderful!!! My nurse for the pre operation was a Christian and a semi newlywed and my parents were able to minister to her and help give her hope. I believe that was probably my favorite part! Then in my post-op the nurses were laughing with me and telling me how I was their favorite patient. (Which doesn’t surprise me because I am awesome! :-) ) They made my stay so pleasant and fun!
Now speaking of the surgery, it did not go as planned, but does that really surprise you? I mean its still me! Four different things occurred that surprised the surgeon. One my MRI lied and said that it was the size of a normal tear but it wasn’t. My tear was double the size of a normal one! Second the MRI said my cartilage was fine but there was a spot that had it be fixed. Which in the grand scheme of things is not that bad! Third the hip sack in my legs are so mobile its nuts! He was definitely not expecting it. He had to stiffen my left leg up but he said I will still be more flexible than most men out there! Crazy right?! Fourth he said my labrum is small it’s supposed to be between 4-7 and the normal being 5. Mine is 3. What does this mean? We aren’t exactly sure. We believe it means that I will be able to tear it again but we don’t know because doctors are still running test to figure out all of this stuff.
All in all, everything went great! My O2 level still dives low but it always travels back up! I am so thankful for a family that supports me and helps me keep going. I don’t think I could have done everything I have done without them! They have been my rock through this whole situation. They have trusted me through it all. I also want to thank my friends who have stayed close to me through the endeavor.
As I am writing this I am trying not to cry. When I was first diagnosed with a labral tear the doctor unintentionally made it sound like no big deal and that I need to just toughen up until I had my surgery. (I am sure that I interpreted it wrong because of all the emotions that were/are swirling inside of me.) Needless to say my pride was shot to pieces. The sheer pain I felt constantly didn’t add up to what he was saying. Most people don’t know this but I was in an abusive friendship. I was often told I too girly to be a boy and that I couldn’t handle pain at all. Once I became sick I fought as hard as I could to show people I was strong and that I had a high pain tolerance. I was afraid to be seen as weak. So I fought with all my might. I put on a good show for those who only saw me outside of the home and sometimes at home I would too. You can imagine seeing multiple doctors and them telling me it’s just chronic back pain how that made me feel. In return I fought harder so the worse I became. You can imagine the sheer joy I experienced when I was told the tear was worse than most people experience. My eyes are welling up with tears now. I was right all along with what was wrong with my hips even though doctors didn’t believe me.
If I had believed the ER doctors when I was first told, “it’s just chronic back pain, take some pills and you’ll be fine,” I would have continued to be in an enormous amount of pain. At this moment in time I’d be crying and walking with cane or at worst crutches. I’d be depressed and not knowing what to do. I am so thankful that I trusted my gut and kept pursuing this. Please do the same. To everyone out there and not just my chronically ill followers, trust your gut. (or Holy Spirit if you’re a Christian.) No one can tell you what’s wrong with your body better than you. You’re not crazy. Keep pushing forward and always remember….
Now speaking of the surgery, it did not go as planned, but does that really surprise you? I mean its still me! Four different things occurred that surprised the surgeon. One my MRI lied and said that it was the size of a normal tear but it wasn’t. My tear was double the size of a normal one! Second the MRI said my cartilage was fine but there was a spot that had it be fixed. Which in the grand scheme of things is not that bad! Third the hip sack in my legs are so mobile its nuts! He was definitely not expecting it. He had to stiffen my left leg up but he said I will still be more flexible than most men out there! Crazy right?! Fourth he said my labrum is small it’s supposed to be between 4-7 and the normal being 5. Mine is 3. What does this mean? We aren’t exactly sure. We believe it means that I will be able to tear it again but we don’t know because doctors are still running test to figure out all of this stuff.
All in all, everything went great! My O2 level still dives low but it always travels back up! I am so thankful for a family that supports me and helps me keep going. I don’t think I could have done everything I have done without them! They have been my rock through this whole situation. They have trusted me through it all. I also want to thank my friends who have stayed close to me through the endeavor.
As I am writing this I am trying not to cry. When I was first diagnosed with a labral tear the doctor unintentionally made it sound like no big deal and that I need to just toughen up until I had my surgery. (I am sure that I interpreted it wrong because of all the emotions that were/are swirling inside of me.) Needless to say my pride was shot to pieces. The sheer pain I felt constantly didn’t add up to what he was saying. Most people don’t know this but I was in an abusive friendship. I was often told I too girly to be a boy and that I couldn’t handle pain at all. Once I became sick I fought as hard as I could to show people I was strong and that I had a high pain tolerance. I was afraid to be seen as weak. So I fought with all my might. I put on a good show for those who only saw me outside of the home and sometimes at home I would too. You can imagine seeing multiple doctors and them telling me it’s just chronic back pain how that made me feel. In return I fought harder so the worse I became. You can imagine the sheer joy I experienced when I was told the tear was worse than most people experience. My eyes are welling up with tears now. I was right all along with what was wrong with my hips even though doctors didn’t believe me.
If I had believed the ER doctors when I was first told, “it’s just chronic back pain, take some pills and you’ll be fine,” I would have continued to be in an enormous amount of pain. At this moment in time I’d be crying and walking with cane or at worst crutches. I’d be depressed and not knowing what to do. I am so thankful that I trusted my gut and kept pursuing this. Please do the same. To everyone out there and not just my chronically ill followers, trust your gut. (or Holy Spirit if you’re a Christian.) No one can tell you what’s wrong with your body better than you. You’re not crazy. Keep pushing forward and always remember….
Trust yourself, because, you are the only one who knows you.
You are so dearly loved, Kaleb. We are all behind you, praying for you, and allowing you to talk about your pain and experiences with all of this. You are always happy and fun, even when you're in pain. You amaze the socks off me.
ReplyDeleteAww! Thank you so much! But it's not me you see but God. I am merely a vessel!
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