The Still Small Voice

God’s voice comes in many forms. Sometimes it’s a feeling, other times it’s in a dream, other times scripture, and still sometimes it comes from people.

Last Tuesday I was helping out backstage with my studio's performance of Holiday Lights. It was a very laid back performance, to the point that if there was a pause in between dances because of a quick change or something the director went out and spoke. Well towards the end the director was busy and couldn’t get on stage to speak, so she asked one of her teachers to go on for her. Before the teacher went on I asked if she’d prefer if I went on for her (she looked a little nervous) relieved she said, “Yes!” and proceeded to push me out on stage. I thought I would go out there and give my perspective on our Nutcracker and the studio’s environment. Well one thing led to another the next thing I know I’m talking about my journey and explaining how much everyone here means to me. Truly they are family. Blood may be thicker than water but dance mates stick with you till the end. I held back tears as it is so emotional to me and before I know it we are ready to continue the show.

Fast forward a whole day and my mom gets a text from the director. She said that a family heard my story and was touched and believed that I have the same thing as their daughter. At first my mom and I were super skeptical. Of course we were going to look into it, but we’ve been down this path many times before, and I didn’t know if my heart could take another “I don’t know what’s wrong with you.”

Skip forward another day and my mom recieves a call from the mom of the girl who I share similar symptoms with. An hour conversation later my mom is absolutely convinced I have POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome.) which is a type of Dysautonomia. The test to check for this is super simple! You can literally take it at home. You check your  pulse while laying down flat and then while you’re standing up. If your pulse increases by thirty or more within a ten minute period you have it.  I have an appointment this Friday with my neurologist because he called and wanted to see me earlier.  Hopefully he will run the test or tell me where to go so I can get a definite answer.

Saturday I actually was able to meet Riley and her family. It was such a wonderful talk! Getting to talk to Riley and hear her story was so motivational to me. It gave me hope. She doesn’t look sick. She looks just like everyone else. We talked easily for over an hour. Because POTS is chronic you have symptoms way before it rears it’s ugly head. So as children it can bother you in subtle instances, but never enough to actually notice. The cool thing was we both had similar instances as kids. Both of our feet would get extremely hot when we wore our tennis shoes and we would always request for thinner socks. (At one time my parent bought me these shoes that actually put cold air into your shoes every time you stepped.) Another instance that I thought was extremely cool is that while we were talking I lowered my hands for them to see how red and splotchy they were and my mom used it to describe how my face turns the same color when I do too much. Riley proceeded to look at her hands and they were the same discolouring! It made me so happy! I know I shouldn't really be happy about having a chronic illness or be excited that someone else has the same one, but to know that you’re not alone is the best feeling in the world. Riley made me feel like I’m not making this up. Getting to talk to her was easily the highlight of my week!

God talks to us in ways that we don’t expect. If you had told me that I would get an answer because of my speech I give at Holiday Lights I would have smiled politely and said, “That would be very cool!” but on the inside think your too funny! Even if I don’t have POTS I know God is with me and has given me the strength to continue this journey. I am so blessed to have met Riley and her family. They have encouraged me and my family greatly! I know that this is the start of a great friendship!