One Small Step or Piece at a Time

God only gives bits and pieces of what His plan is at a time. If He gave us His whole entire plan all at once you’d probably find yourself huddled in the corner, in the fetal position, and crying your eyes out like a baby. God wisely only let us have a bit of His plan at a time.When I first became sick the only answer I could handle was, “You’ll just take this pill for a few days and this will be gone,” a month later, “You’re gonna be out of commission for a while but you will be fine,” another month, “You should be fine but nothing will be the same,” and now, “You  may live but nothing is gonna be the same.” If you had told me at the beginning of this that my life's gonna change and that dance is going to be at the very least cut down and that work is gonna be different I would have cried. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it, but now three months into this wonderful journey I can handle the rougher answers.

This last weekend my family was in Colorado for a winter vacation and they invited my family and me to join them in their beautiful cabin. Everything was absolutely stunning. I felt like I was in a Hallmark movie. Everything was fine and dandy until I had a realization. Outside there was at least two feet of snow so what does that mean with my family???? SNOW FOOTBALL!!!!!! It’s very fun! Or so I’m told because I couldn't go outside. I watched from the window as my family was outside sledding, laughing, and of course tackling each other. This is when it hit me that I have a disorder. Life for me is going to be different. I’m going to have to treat LIfe differently. I’m not a normal teenager. For me things will never be normal. I will have to watch what I eat and what I do and plan my life out so I can survive, but I will not let this define me.

Saturday I performed in my studios take on the Nutcracker by the grace of God I was able to dance in it and I believe I performed beautifully. While I was out in the lobby greeting friends after the last show I had two people approach me and tell me how wonderful I did and that I should never give up dancing. To me this was an answer to prayer. I was considering stopping dance because I don’t want to look like a fool and physical exercise just makes me worse so practicing my technique is very difficult. I was going to spend the Christmas break praying and seeing what GOd wanted me to do but God already answered that question. Just because it’s going to be harder doesn’t mean I’m going to stop. I can’t and won’t! Just because you can’t speak doesn’t mean you can’t share your opinions. JUst because you can’t hear doesn’t mean you can’t be touched by the world's cries. Just because life has changed doesn't mean you can’t change it.